Pulling Back The Rug

Looking Back

There is something I think which is rather peculiar about my creative mind. It is my own worst enemy. Often in studio reviews things I have already thought of and either forgot about them because I was too stupid to write them down or simply didn't have the time to complete them are mentioned. Most of the time I am prepared for the criticism I am going to receive, almost down to the point of what they are going to say.

Now self editing happens in all fields, but when you look at something long enough the border between creative and critical viewing becomes blurry. When I look back at the above projects from the last few years not only do I think about what went into them, but I also think about what I would have changed. Perhaps that's where time comes into play. Now matter what it keeps going - moving - changing. Maybe the project never ends. Maybe I'll never be fully satisfied with something.

For those of us lucky enough to have experienced a Richard Serra sculpture, his work is commanding in its massiveness. On the occasion of a 40 year retrospective of his work at MoMA he talks about how he wouldn't build the sweeping forms if he knew what the experience of them would be ahead of time. For Serra it seems to be one large project encompassed in several individual works of art. From each project he learns something and takes it with him.


Can I treat architecture as my personal exploration - a selfish indulgence. It is a rather public art form. Somebody will most likely have to live/work with this thing. I want to build something, not just be a paper architect like the deconstructivists were for so long.

The M80

An eye opening technological development occurred in recent weeks. I really can't say it any better than this.

This image should look familiar to someone....

The Glass Is Half....

A rather substantial void has appeared in the last few weeks in my life. There is the expected low after finishing a chaotic year of school. And there's also the half empty house as my girlfriend is working in New York City this summer. The two have combined into a deafening silence which is starting to drive me a little stir crazy.

I was expecting to get a job in an architectural/design firm this summer, having more experience than last year, and having a decent portfolio this time around. The sea of rejection was expected but still moderately depressing when it started to come in. On the bright side, many of the firms I applied to at least responded with a 'no' instead of ignoring me outright. On top of that the responses I got from several firms were notes from the principals themselves telling me they liked my work but had no room for me this summer. I came close once when a firm in New York requested an interview with me; they later declined when they realized I was in Toronto.

I was really hoping to work on my skills acquisitions this summer and learn tons at a firm but I've pretty much given up on that. Right now I'll be happy if I can make it through the summer without incurring any more debt, forget learning anything.
I've down shifted my expectations for work this summer and cannot even seem to be able to find the famous - and soul crushing - entry level burger flipping bare minimum.
Last summer I got a job tending bar at a hotel restaurant/lounge. I managed to hold onto Saturday night shifts through the school year but there just isn't any more hours there for me. Now it's not that there isn't any jobs out there, it's just that they all want to hire extra help for Saturdays. Funny how the only thing keeping me alive is also holding me back. I won't give up what I have at the hotel because its the perfect school job, I just wish I could find something to compliment it.